Is the world ready for a Cheney campaign for the Presidency in 2012? Immediately, the left wing extremists out there cry out, “No! No! Cheney is evil and will destroy America! Cheney is a war crimes criminal and should be arrested! Oh, the horror! The despair! NO!!!” If I may respond…shut up. Besides, I’m not talking about Vice President Dick Cheney, no. Instead, I’m talking about his daughter Elizabeth Cheney. Why Elizabeth and not her father? Read about it after the jump.
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Sit Down, You’re Too Good!
From the “This is the Problem with America Today” files, we have the case of young Jericho Scott. Mr. Scott is a 9-year-old pitcher whose team has been disqualified from playing in their league because Jericho is too good of a pitcher! I shall rephrase…the kid pitches a 40-something per mile fastball and the parents of the opposing players go running bloody murder that their children are frightened to play against him.
Are you serious?
One of the biggest problems that Americans will face in the future is that many of today’s parents are breeding their kids in an “everyone wins” type of atmosphere. From the article linked above:
“The spirit of the league was community, family, well-being, nurturing,” Peter Noble, the league’s attorney, told the Register. “It’s an extended family and it’s been disrupted.”
So this league was put together not so young athletes could compete against each other in the sport, but so everyone could participate in a feeling of well-being and nurture each other? What the hell does that even mean?!
What happened to playing in a sports league as a young kid and scratching and clawing your way to victory? If you come up against a kid like Jericho, then you know what? You lose! He’s going to beat you because he’s really good at the game. If you want to beat him then you train to become better at the game and you beat him. The parents in this league obviously see the league as a part-time babysitter for them and they are probably horrified at the thought of having to spend more time and money on the sport if their kid winds up liking the game. Imagine that – your “babysitter league” actually ignites some type of athletic passion in your kid that he or she wants to pursue…the horror!
I hate reading stories like this one. All of my best to young Jericho as he and his family struggle against a bunch of morons up in New Haven.
DVD Review: Hatchet (Unrated Director’s Cut)
This movie is fantastic! The other day I had the opportunity to watch Hatchet, the Unrated Director’s Cut. I honestly had no idea what to expect going into this movie and I was ready to be let down (I’m not big into the horror scene and I hadn’t heard of this movie before). Wow – I was completely stunned at how great this movie turned out! Now folks, let me first state that there is a lot of gore, cursing, nudity, and adult commentary on this DVD. Got it? Good, let’s move on.
You have to watch this movie if, for nothing else, to see Joel David Moore as Ben. Hilarious! He plays this quasi-loser who is really excited for a ghost tour down in New Orleans (in the middle of Mardi Gras, that is). He winds up guilting his buddy Marcus (played by Deon Richmond) into coming along with him. I don’t want to tell too much of the story because you really have to see it to appreciate the amazing mix of humor and horror, but let me say this – the work of Moore and Richmond is reminiscent of the Judd Apatow style of dialogue. It was excellent – very impressive!
I also got a good laugh out of Perry Shad who acted as the tour guide and Joleigh Fioreavanti and Mercedes McNab who acted as two, ummm, I don’t know. I guess you’d call them “Girls Gone Wild” type of girls. Absolutely hilarious dialogue between these two!
An example of some of the humor in this film… As the guests are getting ready for the tour there is a crazy man screaming trying to get their attention. The guide (Shad) tells them that the crazy man is a nut case and that they shouldn’t even bother listening to him. Shad mentioned that the guy even drank his own piss! The boat starts up and the tour moves out into the bayou. As the tour is moving out, the crazy man says:
“Y’all gonna die.” With a very remorseful look, like he knows what’s coming. Then he drinks a bottle of his own piss. Hilarious!
There are funny moments like this littered throughout the movie. But one of the biggest draws is obviously the story of Victor Crowley (played by Kane Hodder). The story is told – brilliantly – by Marybeth (played by Tamara Feldman). I don’t want to tell the story here because it’s pretty much the meat and potatoes of the movie, but you won’t be disappointed. In fact, this entire part of the movie is excellent. Not to ruin this part for anyone, but two older tourists are killed and it is absolutely hilarious!
Take my suggestion here, folks. Buy, rent, or borrow this movie now! The subtitle on the DVD Box says “Old School American Horror.” Not only is this movie made in the old school horror movie style, but it’s got the perfect mix of humor to go with the gratuitous gore. I highly recommend Hatchet, the Unrated Director’s Cut! I even went out and got a copy as a Christmas gift!
