Ha ha ha! You gotta love the fact that you can’t even have a gas station without it getting robbed in Ocean Township.

I do not mean to demean the gas station folks, but you’ve got to think to yourself that maybe if there wasn’t so much time and effort spent on going after college kids in Ocean Township, then maybe the rest of this town’s problems wouldn’t be so bad.

Even the Little League system in Ocean Township is goofed up. According to the Asbury Park Press, the old Babe Ruth League has been resurrected as an alternative to the existing little league system. Hey, good for this guy who restarted the league and good for those kids that are playing in America’s Past Time. Nothing better than little league baseball, you know?

But welcome to Ocean Township – where all of the problems brought up in the past in this blog are nothing more than more of the same. Folks, these people can’t even get a simple little league system right. But hey – it’s good to know that there are parents battling with each other over outdated bylaws and whether or not to pay umpires…why is it good to know?

Because in just a few short weeks, they’ll all band together and say that it’s college kids who caused all these problems anyway! Ahh…the misguided ridiculousness of Ocean Township, New Jersey. Can’t beat it anywhere else in the world!

As if all of the crap in Ocean Township wasn’t enough, now they’ve uncovered a pirated CD ring in town. Though it’s not an underage boozefest, the simple act of using one’s eyes brought this situation to light. From the Atlanticville:

Sgt. Tom Burke noticed what he believed to be counterfeit music CDs on display and for sale at the American Way Food Store in the Town Shopping Center on Route 35 and West Park Avenue

So there you have it – when the police in this town actually look at something other than college students, you may actually have some good police work take place! Let’s recap the hilarity that is Ocean Township, shall we?

• Underage drinking taking place all over town
• Pirated CDs being sold in a township store
• Poor planning in senior development leaves them underwater during storm
• Greedy developer robs large portion of Ocean Township’s property value
• Child predator on the loose, tries to lure young girl to his car
• Cars being robbed during the night
• Drug trade growing in the township
• Deadbeat landlords abusing year-round residents
• Summer tourists disrupting entire sections of town for 4 months out of the year

And these folks are constantly harping on college students who move into the township? Doesn’t a growing drug trade and robbery warrant more police focus than a couple of young adults moving into what have always been “college houses?” You would think so, right?

But this is Ocean Township…where for 8 months out of the year – despite all of the problems listed above – college students are public enemy #1.

I love it – I absolutely love it. From the Asbury Park Press:

It’s happened again.

For the second time in a week — and the seventh time this year — police broke up an underage drinking party in town, this one on Westfield Street late Thursday.

How great is it that the people in this town are reaping what they’ve sewn? You folks kept railing on about those evil college kids who were ruining your small, little family town. Now you’ve got parents that admit they were wrong for allowing a bunch of 17 and 18 year olds to have a “kegger” in their backyard until early hours of the morning.

Bear in mind that I, having lived in the town’s “worst” fraternity house, NEVER allowed a party to take place in my backyard at night like these brazen folks did. At this point, I could almost say that these damn folks in Ocean Township are ruining our quiet, civil little college town! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

But of course, there is always a way to blame college students in Ocean Township. That’s right – you could crash your car in this township and it’s some college student’s fault. You trip and fall and break your leg and those damn college students are to blame. From the same article linked above:

But it’s also true that Ocean Township is a college town, located near Monmouth University in neighboring West Long Branch, Gifford said.

What the hell does that have to do with anything? This sentence is so completely out of place in this story that it actually bears repeating. Go and use the link above and read the story and tell me if this inclusion makes ANY sense given the event that occurred and the recent history of SEVEN underage drinking busts – all related to local high school students. College students had NOTHING to do with these arrests and I don’t say that because college students wouldn’t party with these kids…I say it because some have taken place in the summer! When the college students are all dispersed throughout the state!

I think what I love most about these underage drinking arrests is that, in truth, the problem is NOT with the families or the kids – the problem is with the overzealous police who will arrest you for sneezing too loud. I wish that the rest of this township would wake up and realize that they’ve turned their “little slice of heaven” into a police state. And I wish that they would realize how lop-sided their police coverage is – we have to pull teeth to get the cops to take care of the kids that loiter outside of Scoops Ice Cream and Kandi King between midnight and three in the morning. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, a couple of kids gather to have a party and the shit hits the fan.

It’s ridiculous…then again, it’s Ocean Township.

Hey teenagers – you can no longer have a gathering at your house in Ocean Township. That’s right, the thrashing of your civil liberties continue in this demented town. Apparently a few kids were having a few drinks and hanging out with each other and they got charged with underage drinking. Okay, so they were drinking underage…which 99% of the kids in the world do!

I’m not sure how this is going to get blamed on college students (because everything in this township is blamed on college students) since it’s the summer and there aren’t any college kids here. However, I’m glad to hear that there were some issues at the April meeting between Ocean Township officials and the parents of the kids who had been previous arrested for underage drinking:

On April 19, officials in town, including police, held a “town meeting” on underaged drinking in the auditorium of Ocean Township High School, which drew about 150 people.

While much of the meeting focused on prevention and education, a heated discussion erupted among parents over whether police had overreacted in their enforcement efforts to combat underaged drinking.

We need MORE heated discussions like this! Good for the parent who told the police that they were overreacting! The local college students have had their civil liberties and constitutional rights trampled in the name of Ocean Township making a few hundred dollars on bogus noise complaint and loitering tickets (that’s right, in Ocean Township they’ll plea bargain you down to “loitering” if you get a noise complaint – loitering INSIDE your own home…).

So why am I glad that the local parents are getting a little pissed off? Because it proves the working theory in the area – that the bulk of the college rentals in Ocean Township have either stopped being rented to college students or have been rented out to less “troublesome” students (girls), resulting in a fundraising gap for the local police. So how are they supposed to make up the difference of lost revenues from the bogus noise complaints? That’s right – go after the existing teenage population as much as you can! Read the article linked above, it’ll detail all of the underage drinking arrests in the last few months.

And if you’re feeling froggy, then maybe you’ll want to read about all of the other problems going on in this town that could be dealt with over the continuing harassment of college students. Enjoy!