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JerseySmarts.com

Book Review: I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

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Tucker Max is an online blogger whose outlandish retelling of his personal experiences hurled him into the bright lights of fame. People found his stories to be so crazy that he was even filmed by MTV about his exploits. In a brilliant move, he put together a bunch of his craziest stories (including stories already posted on his free blog) and compiled them into I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. After hearing about how great Tucker Max was from my GGL and some other guys in the fraternity, my roommate purchased a copy of the book and after he was done reading it, I got the sloppy seconds.

I read a LOT of books. I’m such a nerd for books that I have two bookshelves in my room that are stacked with a wide variety of books. None of the books that I read and none of the books in my small collection had me openly laughing out loud like Max’s book. Bear in mind that this is a book that is composed entirely of stories from his drunken nights around the country, weird sex stories, and horrendous treatment of those around him. It was brilliant!

There is one story in particular where Max talks about one night in Austin where he got back to his hotel room extremely late in the night and his roommate managed to get into the bathroom before him. Having to go to the bathroom REALLY bad, Max runs out of his room and winds up making a mess in the hotel’s lobby as he tries to run to the nearest bathroom. Since my retelling will not do the story any justice, you may want to read it directly from the horse’s mouth.

This is an entertaining book. Like any good storyteller it seems that Max integrates a bit of the “fish tale” effect into his stories, but that doesn’t detract from their entertainment factor. Honestly, how many young adult guys out there haven’t exaggerated some of the stats on their hook-ups? That’s what I thought. I don’t know if I can highly recommend that anyone go out there and buy this book since the stories are available for free online. That said, though, if you’re bored, have some free time, and want to read some funny stories about a guy who is out there having fun for the glory of himself, then I recommend heading over to Max’s website.

Max is working on a movie that is loosely based on the Austin road trip story linked above. The movie has a $10 million budget and is currently in production in Louisiana. The tentative release date is some time next spring.

Hilarious Presidential Debate Op-Art

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Just a random update for everyone… I was browsing around the New York Times website and they had Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets talking about the upcoming debates. For some reason, I got a big kick out of this and I thought that you might, too. These guys were always my favorite Muppets – just two grumpy, opinionated old men who made fun of everything around them – awesome!

Statler and Waldorf on the upcoming debates

Enjoy!

The Best Wedding “First Dance” Ever

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One of my co-workers sent me the video below. We all watched this video huddled around one computer at the office and it was absolutely hilarious! Seriously, these people are to be commended for the dedication they put into this sequence. But I’m saying too much – watch below and enjoy!

Great, right?!

It’s Really Good To See You.

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Joe spoke about the inability of college students to transition into the “real world” post-college graduation. Actually, independence and beginning a career are two things that I look forward to with decided enthusiasm. It’s everythigng else.

I suppose we all go through the same shit, I guess. I’ve concluded that my life doesn’t evolve. It’s on spin cycle, moving slowly in the same exact circle since I was 14 years old. They say that when you go to college, everything changes. It’s a time of personal growth physically, mentally, and emotionally. In theory, you go to college and bury your face in some books, some legs, and some bottles of beer and you emerge an enlightened, refined individual. You meet new people, you learn new ideas, you do different things, and I guess that’s all true. Here I am though, having the same problems, the same conversations with the same people. It’s like those past four years have now been blacked out, they didn’t happen. The only trace of this personal growth is the incessant bitching and whining about how nothing will ever be that good ever again. That this is it. We’re fucked.

Really, that’s all I have to say. Perhaps this frustration, confusion, and sense of overwhelming uncertainty sounds familiar to you. If it does, then the rest of this is for you. Perhaps the following situation is remotely familiar to you (actual translation is in parentheses).

Me: “Oh wow, hey man, I haven’t seen you in awhile. How’ve you been?” (Jesus christ, I remember this fucking loser)
You: “Oh, I’m good, bro. I’m just over at the Thompson’s working at the bar.” (Jesus christ, I didn’t want him to see me, but I work at Thompson’s, I’m so cool.)
Me: “Great man, that’s very cool. I will see you around.” (This kid is actually proud of that. What an idiot.)
You: “Sounds good, bro.” (He thought he was a big shot, but now he is 100k in debt and hanging out in the places I’ve been at all along. Idiot.”

And see, the problem is, this stupid motherfucker is right. He’s totally right and we both know it. Here I am, here my friends are with our fancy college degrees and we are right back with all of these idiots in the same exact place. I know I’m better than these people, and time will eventually reveal this, or so I’m taught to believe. But right now, tonight, there is no substantial proof of my superiority over this idiot that is proud of working at Thompson’s. And depression sets in.