Believe it or not, scientists have discovered kryptonite on the planet earth! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah man, whenever work is getting you down and you need a quick pick-me-up, you can always depend on the news to give you something to laugh at.
See Ya Later Sanjaya Malakar
One of the funnier stories in the entertainment media over the last few weeks has been the huge joke that was Sanjaya Malakar’s rise on FOX’s American Idol. What I liked best about Sanjaya was that he was completely clueless as to the joke that was being played on him. Please – a crying girl in the audience didn’t get him the votes that kept him towards the top of the American Idol list and neither did his sub-par singing ability.
What kept Sanjaya on top was a huge group of people who were playing a massive joke on both him and American Idol. Sure, it’s cruel to play a joke on a poor 17 year old kid. But if the name of the game is to let the fans vote, then – in this country – the fans can vote for who they want!
Sanjaya’s latest performance of Bonnie Raitt’s “Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About” was so excruciatingly painful to listen to that I had to laugh out loud tonight when he sang it as his swan song and completely forgot a bunch of the words.
So now that Sanjaya is gone from American Idol the question becomes…is the show still worth watching?!
Garfield Comments on Diets
Our good friend Garfield makes the same comments that we all think about while we’re dieting:
Garfield is good.
The Dancing Baby – A Decade Later
Remember this hilarious dancing baby?
And to imagine – this thing came out about a decade ago. That baby is hilarious!
Top Five Smart Ass Answers of 2005
Thanks to my Mom for sending this one over. I thought it was pretty funny!
TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2005…according to Reader’s Digest:
Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat….she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”
Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
AND NOW……..FOR THE……….
#1 SMART ASS ANSWER SO FAR FOR THE YEAR 2005
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?” The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says : “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”
