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JerseySmarts.com

In-Movie/Show Commercials

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Is there anything more annoying than a commercial that pops up on the bottom of your television screen while you’re watching a movie or a show? You can see this marketing debacle all over network TV, but the biggest offender these days has got to be TBS and their shameless promotion of the Bill Engvall Show.

Forget about just sitting back and watching an episode of Family Guy any more. The marketing geniuses at TBS actually PAUSE the show to allow Bill Engvall to talk for 15 seconds about his new show. Then the bastards have the unmitigated gall to say, “Back to the show,” before the show unpauses and we get literally 2 seconds of crap before going to commercial. If TBS was ever looking for a way to get their fans to hate them – they found it!

This is a horrible trend and I hope some television executives get a chance to read this post because this BS has to end…now!

I Can’t Believe Spain Won! Euphoria!

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Apparently Spain won the Euro Cup 1-0 over Germany. Or Eurocup. Maybe it is the EuroCup. Whatever. That’s terrific. And I’m glad that the soccer people enjoyed it. I take issue, however, with the way in which the entire tournament was presented by ESPN to the American public. Prior to this year, I didn’t even know the EuroCup existed. Frankly, I’d like to keep it that way.

ESPN and ABC Sports broadcast the games and subsequently used SportsCenter to present the soccer tournament as if it was the most important thing to American sporting enthusiasts. The games didn’t even envolve America in any capacity. Yes, I know, soccer is a great game and you just have to try it and it is so fascinating and all of that shit. Great. I’m glad a small portion of people enjoyed the games, I’m sure you really went wild when that one goal was scored over 3.5 hours- but that doesn’t mean that I should have to sit and watch six minutes of highlights proceeded by 4 minutes of analysis by some British guy because ESPN wants good ratings for games that, to the vast majority of the American public, are meaningless.

The fact of the matter is, I, nor could most people name a single player that participated in the entire tournament. Is there still a Ronaldo out there? Was he in it? A word to ESPN, just because you decided to climb into bed with FIFA doesn’t mean you have to shove it down the viewing public’s throats like it was the fucking Super Bowl. Enough already.

George Carlin Passes Away at 71

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George Carlin was hilarious. Unfortunately, this comedic genius passed away on Sunday due to heart problems. This, combined with Tim Russert’s recent untimely passing, should put a new light on heart health for this country – or at least we can hope.

Anyway, I was a fan of Carlin, though I didn’t necessarily agree with his uber-hippie point of view on government and religion. Doesn’t matter, though, the man was still hilarious and someone who could tell a joke that was five minutes long and the audience would be with him every step of the way. When you look at today’s comedians most of the good ones are sharp witted and able to make a biting, hilarious point in a few seconds. None of them are as adept as Carlin was at telling an intelligent story and bringing the entire audience along for the ride.

Comedic brilliance.

Don Imus Really Doesn’t Like Black People

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Well, here’s some breaking news from the world of radio: Don Imus REALLY doesn’t like black people. Earlier today, Don Imus was speaking about Dallas Cowboys CB Adam “Pacman” Jones, who has dealt wtih a slew of legal troubles dating back to his time as a student at West Virginia. Jones recently decided to ditch the name “Pacman” in an effort to revamp his damaged image and leave his troubled past behind.

Imus and Warner Wolf discussed Jones’ meaningless public relations move on-air this morning:

Wolf: “Defensive back Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones, recently signed by the Cowboys. Here’s a guy suspended all of 2007 following a shooting in a Vegas night club.”

Imus: “Well, stuff happens. You’re in a night club, for God’s sake. What do you think’s gonna happen in a night club? People are drinking, they’re doing drugs. There are women there, and people have guns. So, there, go ahead.”

Wolf: “He’s also been arrested six times since being drafted by Tennessee in 2005.”

Imus: “What color is he?”

Wolf: “He’s African-American.”

Imus: “Well, there you go. Now we know.”

Wow. There have been two early, albeit entirely different reactions to this rather new story. Some are calling for the immediate termination of Imus this afternoon, while others are arguing that Imus meant that it is no surprise that Jones has been arrested so frequently given that police profile blacks. Both groups are morons.

The notion that he was attacking the subject of racial profiling with his comments is absurd. Please. If he wanted to pontificate on such a complex and sensitive subject, surely he would have offered more than simply, “Well, there you go. Now we know.”

Don Imus is racist. Accept it. Don’t listen. And if you don’t want to support the companies that advertise on his show, then don’t. It’s his act, it’s what he gets paid to do, so why the hell is anybody actually surprised or even outraged at his recent comments? It was only a matter of time.

Crappy HD Connection Sucks

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At my apartment our cable service is provided by Cablevision (which, by the way, is one of the worst companies in terms of customer service ever). As part of our television package (iO Digital), we get a bunch of high definition channels. Those of you in the tri-state area who have Cablevision probably know about the high definition selections in the 700-block of channels. Anyway, the reception that we get on these channels is so-so at best. When there are fast movements on the screen our HD signal becomes blocky, when there is an LCD screen being shown on the show that we’re watching it digitizes the entire picture, etc. It’s just crappy. Thankfully, this stuff only happens in spurts, but it sucks.

I did some research online and it turns out that if your signal entering your home/apartment/building is split too much before it hits your television, then your HD signal will be choppy and crappy. Well, for anyone who knows the dirtbag who used to own this building (my friends from college who read this blog will know who I’m talking about), then they probably know what the problem is with our cable. Our previous landlord was – as many landlords in this area are – a scumbag. He lied, cheated, and stole as much as possible. This applied to everything from rent to security deposits and yes – even to the cable service.

On ONE cable bill he provided “free” cable and internet service to two apartments, an office, a convenience store, a restaurant, and a hair salon. On any given day, there were upwards of 20 people on the internet alone – plus another 15 or so televisions that were hooked up throughout the building. Believe it or not, the signal didn’t suck at the time. However, now that a stronger signal is needed to get a perfect HD picture it appears that the old landlord’s 35+ way split of the service is now getting back at us.

Just some random bitching…