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The Unfinished Tales: The Argument – Part 1

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You may recall a few times in the past where I’ve written that certain entries languished in this blog’s draft folder for weeks or months before being posted to the public for you to read. Generally, I hold certain posts in the draft folder because I know that they’re not ready yet and need to be revised two or three more times. For all of you students out there, don’t ever underestimate the value and very powerful effect of proofreading your work – it works.

Anyway, just like there are certain posts that I hold in the draft folder for an extended period of time, there are also concepts and ideas for other writing-based “stuff” that I keep in my mental draft folder for an extended period of time. I think I’m going to start posting some of that content on this blog as a way to get it out there and see if it piques any interest in my readers. I’m going to call this unplanned, sporadic series of entries “The Unfinished Tales” (and yes, this is a direct ripoff of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Unfinished Tales).

In advance of putting together this, the first of hopefully many Unfinished Tales entries, I’d like to note that there is a lot of stuff floating around my mental draft folder. For example, I might post a portion of a middle chapter of a book that I’d like to write at some point or I might write the beginning of a dialogue for a short story or a screenplay. There are a lot of thoughts that pass through my head when I’m in a creative mood. I guess we’ll find out if any of this stuff is actually worth anything… so here we go!

This is an opening dialogue either to a short story, short film, or a play. I’m thinking of turning it into a short story, but who knows. Here we go:

Gilbert: If you could just shut your hole for five minutes I might be able to collect myself and get some shut eye.

Ben: Why should I be quiet? You don’t deserve a good night’s sleep! HA HA HA!!!

Gilbert: SHUT UP! What gives with you, man? I’m exhausted, I can’t focus, I can’t think straight – and yet you insist on running your mouth. Enough!

Ben: I’ll never be quiet. You don’t deserve calmness. You don’t deserve relaxation.

Gilbert: And who the fuck are you to make that decision? You’re a miserable bastard who can’t see past his own self-loathing to let the light of life shine in and brighten your day. You’re a horrible, pathetic miser.

Ben: HA! You dare talk to me like that? Do you forg-

Gilbert: That’s right I dare talk to you like that! You never stop your complaining. You’re constantly going on and on about bullshit that doesn’t even exist. You’re a scumbag and you only exist to aggravate and annoy. I know your fucking game so stop the crap, let it go, and give me some peace.

Ben: No.

Gilbert: Why not? Why must you be such a thorn in my side?

Ben: Because I know.

Gilbert: You know what? You don’t know shit except how to be a miserable fuck. Screw off.

Ben: I know what you did. I know all of it.

Gilbert: You don’t know shit. You don’t even know what you’re talking about.

Ben: Do you forget? Do you forget that I was there with you?!

Gilbert: *Looks down; attitude switches to a more solemn mood.* Shut up.

Ben: That’s better. Don’t forget what I know.

Gilbert: But why must you constantly harass me with history? What do those memories have to do with getting some rest right now?

Ben: Do you acknowledge that past?

Gilbert: What?

Ben: The past! Do you acknowledge that it exists?!

Gilbert: Well, what the fuck do you want me to do? I know what you’re talking about, but I don’t let it weigh me down. I can’t change the past, but I can chart a better course for the future!

Ben: Don’t give me your bullshit! I know everything you’ve done and you should be the miserable one! YOU did this!

Gilbert: I didn’t – I didn’t do a… ugh… Just leave me alone.

Ben: *Stares even more intensely at Gilbert.* You did this.

Gilbert: Please… let’s just end it for today. I can’t think straight any more.

Ben: You did this…

Gilbert: …I know.

[ Change scene to Mark laying in his bed. A clock on the nightstand reads 3:12am. He is exhausted and alone and his sheets are tossed and turned. ]

Mark: No more thoughts tonight. Please God! No more… I just want to get some sleep.

I’ve been thinking of ways to operationalize different versions of this dialogue for a while now. I really think that it would work best as a short story about a character named Mark who wrestles with his inner conscience about his past. Granted, above certainly reads like a script for a play or a short film, but I think there could be something here if there was a strong narrative built around the short story format. I’ve been working on that format for some time now, so if I ever get this short story finished – be on the lookout because I’ll post details here first!

Have You Heard About This OUYA Video Game Console?

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Some of you may be familiar with the new crowd funding website Kickstarter.com. I stumbled across this website a number of months ago and I immediately loved it. The main gist of the website is aspiring artists, developers, writers, entrepreneurs, etc. post descriptions of their projects online and then ask you to help them fund their goals. It’s a way of harnessing the do-gooder, helping spirit that exists in all of us while, at the same time, helping someone achieve their goals and realize their dreams.

But Kickstarter is better than just feeling good about what you do with your money – you actually get something in return for your dollars.

The first campaign that I put some money towards was a music project. Believe it or not, there is a woman professional wrestler who is an accomplished country music artist. She’s not half bad, actually! Anyway, this woman was trying to make a second album with funding from Kickstarter and was asking for anyone to contribute $5, $10, $50, $100, and so on towards the costs to develop her album. After the word spread around the internet, she reached her funding goal and is now in the process of making the music. The dollar amount that you contribute to a campaign dictates what you’ll get in return. Personally, I only contribute at a level where I’m going to get something tangible. For this woman’s campaign, I contributed $50 (funded from my website company) which gets me both a physical copy of the new album plus the full MP3 version of the album, my name in the “thank you” section of the album, my CD autographed by the woman, and an invitation-only web concert. Sometimes the rewards are much more extravagant. For example, in this campaign if you donated $10,000, then you received all of these items, a 30-minute in-home concert, a hand-painted t-shirt from the singer, an executive producer listing for the album, and a personalized thank you video.

And each Kickstarter campaign is different. Seriously, check out the link above – I think you’ll enjoy what you find on there.

This entry, though, is about a new video game console that I saw on Kickstarter. Here, watch the video for yourself:

Did you watch the video? It’s a pretty cool concept, right? Some of you might be wondering, “Well, what’s the difference between this OUYA video game system and the Nintendo Wii or the Playstation 3 or something like that?” And that’s a good question. I’ve been doing some research on this OUYA concept and what these folks are trying to do and this is what I think the difference is between this console and the others.

It’s open.

When I say it’s open I mean that you can go in and hack it and it doesn’t void a warranty or become an illegal device or anything like you might imagine. In other words, people can go in and hack the core system’s operating protocols (I’m probably not using the right language) and it’s not a problem at all (assuming, of course, that the hacking doesn’t fry the system). The OUYA system is built on the same software infrastructure as the Droid cell phones out there – it’s an Android-based system. What this means is that anyone who can develop an “app” for a Droid cell phone or an app for a Droid tablet (for example, a NOOK) can have that app operationable on the OUYA system. This creates two immediate outcomes – one interesting and one alarming.

The interesting outcome is that since the console is built on the Android system, there are going to be thousands of apps and mobile games available for download on the first day that this thing is hooked up in your living room. The second, more alarming outcome is that I can’t imagine wanting to play any of the time-wasting games on my cell phone on the big screen of my television.

That second outcome is one of the issues that the OUYA development team is taking very seriously. They are talking to a variety of high-level gaming software companies to ensure that there are blockbuster-level games available for this system as soon as it hits the market. That’s going to be a huge task, but with only one week of starting their Kickstarter campaign these folks have already generated over $5.2 million from over 40,000 backers.

That’s a lot of money to make in a single week!

I admit that I’m not technical enough to know much more about how this thing is going to work, but I do know that if you Bing “OUYA” you’ll find a bunch of positive and negative press for the not-yet-created console. For my part, I like supporting these Kickstarter campaigns and I’ve supported a variety of independent video games on that website already. So I supported the OUYA campaign at the $99 level. This gets me the ability to reserve my username before the console goes live to market, a “Founder” emblem emblazoned next to my username forever, and an OUYA console plus one controller. That’s right – a brand new video game system (expected to be delivered some time in March 2013) for $99 (plus $20 for shipping).

You can’t even buy a used current generation console for $99!

If you’re interested in the OUYA or in at least learning more about it, check out their Kickstarter page. This is a very interesting concept and I’m glad to support it!

Neon Trees – “Everybody Talks” Video/Buick Commercial

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If you’ve been watching this year’s March Madness on CBS, TBS, truTV, and TNT, then you’ve probably seen the commercial in the first video below. This is a commercial for the new Buick Verano, which is some type of luxury sedan from General Motors, but I don’t really know much about it. What I do know, though, is that for some reason I really enjoy this commercial. It’s quick – take a look:

Have you ever watched a commercial and just thought, “Ha! I like that!” Well, that was my response to that commercial. Whoever put that 30 second spot together really did a good job. One of the things that I like about the commercial is the use of the Neon Trees as the band that performs in the last part of the spot. In fact, I did some Googling and it turns out that the Neon Trees actually recorded a performance of that entire song – Everybody Talks – while sitting in that tour bus. Sure, the song is very likely lip synched (there’s no drum set for the drummer to play inside the tour bus!), but it’s still a pretty impressive feat. Take a look at the full video (which is hidden from people if you search for it on YouTube, but fully available to watch if you have the link… like I do):

Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, turns out that the Neon Trees will be putting out a new album in April. I’ll definitely check it out and see if it’s worth purchasing and if you like alternative rock, then I encourage you to do the same. Enjoy!

The Biggest Loser Almost Jumped the Shark Last Fall With Season 12

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Given that the newest season of The Biggest Loser started last night and there are so many fatties out there (myself included, by the way) who watch this show like it is the best show on television, I thought I’d offer some comments regarding the last season of the show. Season 12 of The Biggest Loser started in September 2011 and ended a few months later in December 2011. It was the first season of the show that I watched and was totally underwhelmed with – on all fronts. Here are some of my quick thoughts on the last season of The Biggest Loser on NBC:

  • Anna Kournikova. Talk about a huge letdown to all the red-blooded men out there. Here is one of the most beautiful female athletes in the world and she didn’t know the first thing about training other people. As one of the many red-blooded men out there who was so put off by Kournikova’s inability to train her contestants that I began to resent her beautiful self being on the show, I’m glad that the folks at NBC learned their lesson and didn’t invite her back for the new season.
  • Dolvett Quince just doesn’t “get it.” It’s hard to explain, but when you watch Bob Harper or Jillian Michaels train their contestants you are actually watching them make a connection with these people. Dolvett didn’t seem to “get” that last season. And it showed, too. You see, the problem with most of the people on the ranch isn’t that they eat too much or don’t workout nearly enough. The problem is that they are hiding from something or running away from something deep down inside that they don’t want to confront. There’s an inner fear there that they don’t want to face – an inner fear that they can’t succeed or they won’t succeed or whatever. Dolvett didn’t “get” that aspect of the show. He just thought his job was to be a typical trainer, but to do that job better than Bob. I can’t believe they brought him back for the new season.
  • John Rhodes hurt The Biggest Loser brand. Most people go on The Biggest Loser because they hope for better things for themselves and their families. Other people go on the show because they want to prove something to themselves or to someone else. Yet there are a small percentage of people who get on the show and want to play the game first and then worry about their health second. John may have won last season and wound up as the biggest loser at the finale, but he was a complete jerk during his time on the ranch. He threw Sunny under the bus and when the only person with any integrity called him on it (Antone Davis), John turned into a big, stupid child and grew bitter towards Antone. This is an asshole who stood on the scale during the penultimate episode of the season and barked at Antone – a former NFL player – that he was going to beat him. The man has no class and few redeeming qualities as a player of this game and he hurt The Biggest Loser brand. In fact, he hurt the brand almost as much as…
  • Bonnie Griffin. Don’t get me wrong – I think that John Rhodes did significant damage to The Biggest Loser brand and whoever cast him on the show should really be held to task. However, there is no question about the fact that Bonnie Griffin is the worst contestant in the history of the show. Period. No questions asked. This is a woman who celebrated losing four pounds after the first week and three pounds after the second week. She was a disgrace. Her presence on the show was a slap in the face to all of the applicants who didn’t make it on the show. There are people out there who need to be on the show for their health and yet Bonnie was given a spot on the show because she’s an old lady. Nothing turned my stomach more last season than watching Bonnie stay on the ranch week after week when she clearly was out of her league and didn’t belong there. The only thing that came nearly as close to turning my stomach as watching Bonnie’s weekly “struggle” was…
  • Johnny Forger. Thank God this guy was eliminated early on. If there is a classic definition of someone who is a “creeper,” then this is the guy. I don’t know what the casting director was going for with Season 12 of The Biggest Loser, but if this guy walked into my casting room the very first thing I would do is hide the women and children. He’s just creepy. And yes – I understand that The Biggest Loser doesn’t have casting calls but, instead, has applicants submit their tapes. I would have taken Johnny’s tape and sent it right to the local authorities. He just creeps the hell out of me and he should never have been on the show.
  • Antone Davis. One of the biggest issues that I had with the last season of the show was that they didn’t focus on Antone nearly enough until later in the season. He was the only contestant that had any integrity and was able to confront his fears and his inner demons and defeat them. He was on the ranch for the right reasons and he made the show worth watching in the last few weeks. But prior to the last few weeks – no one really knew his story because the show was so poorly put together. Just a bad job overall by the team at NBC.
  • No rallying points. Other than Antone’s story, there were really no rallying points for the fans to get behind. In Season 11 you had the mothers who selflessly sacrificed their time on the ranch to make sure that their kids stayed there. I’ve never seen a stronger, more devoted group of people than those mothers – they defined what a parent should be on that show and they were the models of integrity. And what made their sacrifices more touching was that they sacrificed themselves for other people’s kids! Lord knows that John – the selfish, ignorant winner from last season – would have thrown all of those kids under the bus and tried to get them off the ranch. Who wants to watch that?

The reason why I decided to post this entry the day after the first episode of the new season of The Biggest Loser is because while I watched the show last night, I actually turned it off midway through the episode. NBC is bringing this franchise dangerously close to jumping the shark (i.e. becoming totally irrelevant). It’s a damn shame, too.

NOOK Book Review: A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin

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Wow. I don’t even know where to start this NOOK Book review so I’m just going to begin at the beginning and take you through my experience with A Game of Thrones. Like most folks, I heard about A Game of Thrones because it’s a big hit on HBO and has a pretty large fan base with respect to readers of the novels. I’m the type of person who at least likes to be aware of what’s going on in pop culture and when A Game of Thrones hit the #1 spot on the New York Times bestseller list, I thought that I should probably give the story a shot. Plus, I’ve been looking (not that hard) for a good fantasy series to read since I’ve pretty much read and re-read everything that the master of the genre – J.R.R. Tolkien – published.

So with the thought in my mind that this was a New York Times bestseller, a hit series on HBO, and a fantasy story that was gaining momentum in pop culture I got myself the NOOK Book version of A Game of Thrones. For reference, the NOOK Book version of the novel has 753 pages, some 733 of which are the actual story versus the final 20 NOOK Book pages which are an appendix listing the relationships of the different characters in the story.

I’m not sure how deep into detail I want to get with respect to the story itself, but there are a few major, overarching points that I want to make about this book.

First, A Game of Thrones does not read like a fantasy or science fiction story except in certain places. Other than the opening prologue, the reader has to wait hundreds (literally, hundreds) of pages before any event occurs that is actually supernatural in its nature. Further, the reader isn’t treated to a second supernatural, fantastical event until the very last page or two of the book. And even at that, after the reader gets through 733 pages of this “fantasy” novel the fantastical event at the end of the novel is good, but not enough in this reader’s mind.

Second, this is a long book. A really long book. As a reader, I enjoy long books because they give me a chance to get wrapped up in a story and really try to understand the perspectives of the characters, why they do what they do, what larger issues are being commented on by the story/author, etc. I didn’t get much of that from A Game of Thrones and, frankly, the lack of both character depth and progressive character development for the majority of these 733 pages is alarming. Based just upon the character depth and development alone, I’m shocked that A Game of Thrones made its way to the #1 spot on the New York Times bestseller list. Shocked.

Third, while I eventually began to accept what A Game of Thrones had to offer, I can’t really say that I enjoyed reading the book. Don’t misunderstand – I didn’t loathe reading the book. If I hated A Game of Thrones I would have just stopped reading it and went on to the next book in my unread stack. There’s something in this story… there’s something there that made me – as a fan of fantasy and science fiction writing – want to see the superiority and depth of this story and its characters. But I just couldn’t get myself into it that deeply.

The story of the Stark family ruling at Winterfell, being split up, and ultimately having the head of the family decimated in King’s Landing after King Robert dies is certainly a good story. But the reasons behind the various actions that lead to the end of the novel are not that deep. Look, the Lannisters are scumbags and they do whatever they want to do without regarding for right or wrong. They put an inbred young king on the throne who doesn’t even know that his father is actually his uncle and I guess that there is supposed to be more of a gripping story than appears to the naked eye there, but I didn’t see it. However, a more compelling story for this reader was that of Dany and her brother Viserys and their interactions with the Dothraki. And yet even in that story, Martin (seemingly randomly) chooses to kill off one of the most interesting characters in the novel, Khal Drogo, to reach the storyline progression that is achieved at the end of A Game of Thrones. It just seemed to me that in terms of storytelling, Drogo could have made it a little bit further in the story.

There are a variety of lesser stories interwoven throughout the novel that also have potential, such as the stories regarding the Mormont family, the different characters and their interactions in the Night’s Watch, the Others beyond the Wall, etc. But Martin doesn’t really get into those stories too much. One would think that with 733 pages of story, he could dive into one of those sub-stories and really give it some color. The again, if he chose not to give a depth of color to the main characters, I guess it would seem silly to do that with the minor ones instead.

I know this NOOK Book review seems more like I’m complaining than anything else, but I just can’t figure out what my exact gripe is with A Game of Thrones. My gripe is not that the story is mostly sluggish or mostly boring – I can imagine many folks enjoying this read. And my gripe also doesn’t have to do with the extremely repetitive words and phrases that Martin uses throughout the novel (if I read that a character ate something “to break his/her fast” again or that a warrior was robed in armor that looked like “a lobster,” I’m going to punch someone).

In general, I think my problem with A Game of Thrones is that it really does take hundreds of pages for Martin to reveal a plot point that any astute reader had probably already discovered and processed the moment that the plot point was hinted at… hundreds of pages earlier. In addition, while Martin’s writing style isn’t necessarily bad, his narration style leaves a lot to be desired. A Game of Thrones does not benefit by the way Martin jumps from one part of the story to the next (very similar to the way the Lord of the Rings movies follows the progression of the story). Aside from being distracting to the discerning reader, jumping from one scene to a completely different one reveals another one of my gripes with this story – it seems to have almost been written in a format that would make it easily adaptable to television.

After 733 pages of NOOK Book reading, I can’t quite put my finger on the element of the book that makes A Game of Thrones a hit show on HBO. However, there is little doubt in my mind that this story was written – at least in part – from a desire to see the characters come to life on film or television and that is what is at the core of what bothers me. When you read a book like Tarzan or a book like The Hobbit or a series like The Lord of The Rings, you aren’t reading about characters who were created to eventually be placed on the big screen. Go back and read a book like Treasure Island or Robinson Crusoe and tell me if you think that the characters in those books were written with the express purpose of eventually making a video game or television series based off of the characters. The answer is clearly no (and not just because those mediums of entertainment didn’t exist when the books were published). These books were written to tell a compelling story and let’s be honest – content is king.

The reason why The Lord of the Rings has stood the test of time is because J.R.R. Tolkien created a story with characters that are so deep and with such a rich back story that a fan of fantasy novels can get lost in his legendarium and never cease to be amazed at a new discovery that informs the core story of good versus evil. It’s that content that made Tolkien a master of his craft. And in truth, it’s that lack of content – the lack of any compelling, overarching reason as to why events are happening – that brings down A Game of Thrones for this reader. I understand that there are other books in this series. However, I have to ask the question – if a deeper, compelling story isn’t revealed after 733 NOOK Book pages of reading, then what else is there? Could Martin have made the next books in this series any less substantive, any less dramatic, any more unnecessarily graphic, or any more frustrating to read than A Game of Thrones? I have access to the next book in this series, but I’m unsure if I’m going to read it yet. I might give the first chapter a try just to see what’s doing.

For those of you out there who are looking for something different to read – A Game of Thrones is definitely different. However, if you’re looking for a good science fiction series or a fantasy series with a deep, compelling story to get into, then I don’t think that A Game of Thrones is for you. The story isn’t quite science fiction nor is it quite fantasy except in very few, very brief instances in its 733 pages. And for a science fiction or fantasy fan, that’s just not enough. The book is long – that’s for sure. But length aside, A Game of Thrones is a case where quantity does not equal quality.