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Book Review: Gorilla Mindset

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For those of you who pay attention to the crazy media landscape that we find ourselves stuck with, you might recognize the author of one of the latest books that I read – Mike Cernovich. Mike has been at the forefront of calling out all types of untrue news on all sides of the political and social spectrum and he does a great job at it (check out his Twitter account if you want to see what I am referring to here).

I first came across Mike’s writing years ago when he was focusing more on helping people break out of their bad habits and become better versions of themselves. That mindset is carried into this book and Mike does a great job of trying to make the strategies and tactics that he uses work for the reader. Here are some of the lines in the book that stood out to me, so I thought I would share them here.

“To get more out of life, you must get more out of yourself. You must take personal responsibility for your thoughts and emotions. You must stop blaming the system. The days of looking outside of yourself for answers are gone!”
These are words that everyone should live by – stop looking to others to provide answers to your problems. Stop thinking that the system is out to get you – it is not out to get you or to get anyone else. Those who are the most successful in life are the ones who take the bull by the horns and make the world around them work for them. Everyone thinks that is some crazy, highly complex thing to do it, but it really is not that hard. Sure, circumstances may not be in your favor today, but that is probably a momentary disruption. Much of this begins to feel like political posturing, but it really is not. It only feels that way because people are so, unfortunately, preconditioned these days to feel like every comment is a political comment. We have to do better, folks.

One of the great parts of this book was Mike’s comments about how people often talk to themselves in the silence of their minds or, sometimes, out loud in the privacy of their homes. People often attack themselves with a level of brutality that is unwarranted. He writes, “If you talked to your friends like you talk to yourself, you wouldn’t have any friends.” How true is that? How many times do you wind up saying to yourself, “Come on, you idiot! Why can’t you get this done, moron?!” Why talk to yourself that way?

He also suggests that people should start living in the moment more than worrying about the future, which is advice that folks have been offering for decades. Mike suggests, “You don’t know what’s going to happen in the next minute, much less at a point further in the future, so why are you worrying about it? When you start living in the moment, you stop worrying about the future.” When I work with my students, I often find that they are concerned about things in the future that they really do not have to worry about today. For example, I cannot tell you how many students have come to me after getting a bad grade on an exam or a paper and they are all distraught over how that bad grade on that assignment is going to ruin their chance at a future career. Aside from exposing those students who likely have a serious condition that needs to be addressed by a qualified medical doctor, I try to explain to these individuals that their futures are not based on today’s tests, but rather how they respond to them. When you perform poorly on an exam, then study harder for the next one and achieve better, but in all circumstances do not panic over the future!

Perhaps one of the best bits of advice that Mike offers comes at a great time when many of us are ultra-connected to the internet and technology. He writes, “Being plugged in and connected does not signal importance. It shows that you are a slave to others.” Amen! Over the last few months, I have talked to many of the students that I mentor in Generation Z who are actively disconnecting from social media and from being always turned on. That is great! Now, though, I think one of the biggest issues that our population has (in America, at least) is the addiction to the immediate gratification (or anger) that posting on social media provides. Admittedly, while we find this quite a bit in the youngest ages, it really has taken hold in the retirement age community. People are just addicted to being always turned on and it is not, in any way, healthy. In fact, with some retirement age folks, their addiction to always being connected is becoming scary.

On this note, I appreciate Mike’s comments about saying “no” to requests for your time. Over the last year or so, I have definitely found myself telling people no more often and it has been a very healthy development in my life. He writes, “By saying no, I am not compelling anyone to do anything. I am not imposing my will on anyone. I am simply asking to be left alone.”

The Gorilla Mindset, to me, is an active, productive mix of stoicism and personal responsibility with a bit of taking action. Mike presents this mindset in an easy to read, clear manner. If you are looking for a bit of a different self-help book, then give this one a shot.

Just a final bit from this book. Mike shares some great advice on being happier and being more enthusiastic about life: “Mood and posture are linked, and it’s been proven that engaging in the physical act of smiling can actually make you feel happier.”

Smile more, folks!

Book Review: Dreamland

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Oh man… this was a tough read, but not because it was poorly-written or anything along those lines. In fact, the exact opposite is true. Author Sam Quinones did a brilliant job of writing about the opioid epidemic, where it came from, how it grew, and what direction it seems to be headed in.

A number of years ago, I remember the first time I heard someone say, “Everyone knows someone who has been impacted by the opioid epidemic.” And I thought to myself, “Hmmm, that doesn’t have to be true for everyone, right?” Well, after reading this book and living my life for a few years, yes, I think that this statement may be true for everyone. I know that one of my close friends from high school battles an opioid addiction to the point where they tried to take their own life. And that’s just one person that I know who is battling the addiction – there are many more, unfortunately. It is a horrifying drug no matter what form it takes, but the way that Quionnes wrote about how black tar heroin made its way across the country is the stuff of medical nightmare tales. There is a lot to write about in reviewing this book, so I want to just focus in on two elements that Quionnes writes about: the corporate nature of the structure for the drug dealers out of Mexico and the misinformation that was promulgated about the pros and cons of using opioid-based drugs for pain management. Also, since I read this book on my Kindle, I was able to highlight some lines in the book, a few of which I will include below. Of course, the highlights that I include below are just scratching the surface of a much larger discussion on these (and more) topics in the book.

“Without legions of middle-class kids with cars, the Xalisco Boys’ business model didn’t work. In cars, kids shot up, gave rides to fellow junkies, hid their dope. When their parents’ trust in them finally died, the kids lived in these cars, and the cars became their private bedrooms.” Dreamland goes deep into who the drug dealers were, where they came from, what brought them to this type of life, etc. That quote, from Dreamland, gives great insight into why the business model worked in middle-class neighborhoods. They operated what looked and felt like a franchise-style business. They would set up a cell in a city and then arrange the cell to be the quick delivery service for drugs directly to your door or, in the case of these middle-class kids, at a prearranged drop off point. Nothing different than ordering food for delivery, and it worked like a charm.

“To actually look up Porter and Jick, to discover that it was a one-paragraph letter to the editor, and not a scientific study, required going to a medical school library and digging up the actual issue, which took time most doctor’s didn’t have.” Earlier in the book, Quionnes exposes that the “research” on which much of the pain management movement was based on was not an academic or scientific study. No, instead it was an obscure letter to the editor that was never intended to even be sent out. This irritates me to no end not just because it exposes that the basis on which doctors began prescribing, and big pharma began producing, opioids was false, but it irritates me because this type of false authority runs rampant in a variety of worlds outside of healthcare. The social sciences are plagued with people taking data and findings that are not generalizable and then generalizing that information to “prove” their points. But that’s a story for another day. The point here is that Quionnes uncovered that the scientific roots of mass producing opioids to address pain management are false. And that is infuriating.

And, finally, I have to offer this quote from Dreamland to end this review: “He was a football player and handsome. He was a linebacker and a ferocious hitter, and thus popular. So a lot of what he did was forgiven and he got used to that. Football players were common among the new rural opiate addicts. Some got addicted to pills prescribed for injuries. Others, like Wes, took them at parties.” Sometimes you’re reading a book and you come across a few lines like these that hit home. I know a few guys who played football both at the high school and collegiate levels and they fell into this exact trap. Life was easy, they got away with things that other people would have been sanctioned or punished for, they took a few pills maybe took a few shots, and that was the end of it. And because they did it, others did it, too. Absolutely horrifying.

And that is Dreamland, folks. Overall, it is the story of the horrifying opioid epidemic that took hold of the people in this country, regardless of age, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, etc. Here’s hoping that the reform efforts that are currently underway continue and are bolstered with more funding.

Book Review: Under the Black Hat: My Life in the WWE and Beyond

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Years ago, I was a big wrestling fan. Name me a guy in their late 30s/early 40s who was not a Hulkamaniac back in the 1980s and 1990s and and I’ll show you someone who is not telling the truth. Former and current wrestling fans of any age will know the name Jim Ross. At nearly 70 years old, Ross has been in the professional wrestling industry for nearly 50 years. And during that time, he has collected a wide set of stories and experiences that he shares in his new book, Under the Black Hat: My Life in the WWE and Beyond.

One part of this book that stuck with me was the deep humiliation and insult that Ross suffered at the whims of Vince McMahon. Time and time again, Ross recounts how he was put into on-air positions that he found humiliating and that he was uncomfortable with from the start. It actually becomes painful and frustrating to read the on-going embarrassment that he has to deal with just to be able to do his job. As someone who watched some of these acts take place on television, they never seemed to make sense to me and never really fit in with any of the other stories that were going on. They all just seemed oddly out of place and disconnected from everything else on the show.

And, well, that is exactly what you learn when reading this book. Namely, that McMahon and his writers had a penchant for making Ross feel terrible. In other words, they enjoyed watching him get degraded on television. Again, it becomes brutal to read how, over and over again, Ross was put into a position that made him feel uncomfortable and that he felt obligated to participate in to be “in” with the wrestlers and the boss. This is the stuff of a modern day harassment lawsuit.

However, the part of the book that stayed with me the most was the beautiful tributes that Ross gives to his now-passed wife. She was his rock during these turbulent times and always reassured him when he would go back to the promotion. It sounds like the relationship that most people dream of finding – a man and a woman who truly understand and appreciate one another. For that part and for the love that these two shared, it was painful to read about how her passing in the book and the reader can feel the raw emotion that Ross is dealing with due to that major loss in his life.

At some point later in the book, Ross talks about his connection with Tony Khan and his new, upstart wrestling company called All Elite Wrestling (AEW). This is the show that Ross now finds himself announcing on each week and he appears to be having fun and enjoying himself while doing it. The comments about AEW are a nice way to end an emotional roller coaster that is much more a story about his abuse by McMahon and a love letter to his late wife for supporting him than anything else. If you are or were a wrestling fan, then I think that you will enjoy reading this book.

Book Review: Random Family

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The first thing that you need to know about this book is that it must be read in an active manner. In other words, since the information in this book is based on observations generated during academic research, it is like you are reading cleaned up field notes. You will need to pay close attention to what is going on in order to keep pace with the different individuals, their relationships, their family connections, their preferences, and so much more.

And that is what Random Family is all about – how hectic and random life can be for folks living at a certain income level and under certain economic conditions. At a time in our country when we are seriously considering shifting scarce dollars from police departments to other, community-based resource initiatives, the story of Cesar, Coco, Lourdes, Jessica, and everyone else in the book is more relevant than ever before. Author Adrian Nicole LeBlanc writes about these individuals, their histories, their intertwined families, and how they make it through life, one day at a time.

Cesar’s story was one that I found particularly engaging. He winds up in jail for a few different reasons, not the least of which was murdering his best friend (accidentally). Coco falls in love with him (at age 15!) before he is locked away. Coco has two children with Cesar (and three children by other men; totaling four girls and one boy in all) and much of LeBlanc’s story weaves into how this blended family struggles to survive. They live in one place, get evicted, stay with friends, get kicked out, etc. It is incredibly difficult for Coco to put down roots for her family for a variety of reasons not the least of which is the tenuous struggle that they are engaged in as non-contributors to an economy that insists on a clean record for participation.

At times, it becomes frustrating for the reader because you just want to reach out and find a way to help the family.

Back to Cesar – he fits the archetype that you hear about so often on the news and in documentaries. That is, he lives the typical life of a young male in an urban neighborhood, but there are real consequences to being so aggressive in trying to prove one’s masculinity. He is a man who is both left alone to grow up on his own and then essentially left to rot in a penal system that does not help him grow and mature as they should. Again, the reader becomes frustrated with this element of the ethnography because you want to just find a way to help Cesar and his expanding family by guiding them to make certain choices over others. But that is what ethnographies are for, right? To show the world how people live and survive in their environment.

Ten years after the book was published, LeBlanc was interviewed by the New Yorker as an update to her initial ethnography. For those of you who have read Random Family, I recommend reading this interview. It provides a little bit of insight into LeBlanc’s approach to recording notes, though it generally does not give an update on the individuals that you meet in the book. Still, as soon as I was done reading the book, I searched the internet for some sort of update on the people that you learn so much about during Random Family. Sadly, I could not find an update on these folks, but then again – that is the way that a book like this one is supposed to work.

You read it, learn about their lives, and then it is over.

Book Review: The Wolves of Winter

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Last year (late 2018, to be specific), I discovered a fun literary magazine called f(R)iction. What I like best about f(R)iction is that they highlight new and emerging authors, which are often the types of authors who are writing the works that I like to read, but can never easily find. Seriously, have you ever tried to go out and find a good new fiction author to read? It’s difficult! In one issue of the magazine, they highlighted The Wolves of Winter by Tyrell Johnson and after reading the small bit in the magazine, I was hooked!

The main plot of this book is that there is a worldwide epidemic that essentially ended civilization as we know it. The book follows a family that is doing their best to make life work out for them in the Yukon and, in particular, it follows the experiences of a young girl as she tries to live whatever life is leftover after civilization came to an end. Johnson goes out of his way to bring you into the desperation and seeming hopelessness of this new world and he tells this story though the eyes of these few remaining humans. It is a story that we sometimes see in movies and sometimes on television shows, but Johnson brings that story of despair to life in the written form.

While the family thinks that they are alone in the wilderness (with one big, burly, creepy neighbor living nearby), they soon find out that there are others who are still alive out there in this otherwise dead world and that not all of them have the most noble intentions. What struck me about Johnson’s writing on this theme is that he painted a very dreary, hopeless vision of the life that this family was living, but then when he introduced the outside world there were vibrant sparks of hope that glittered throughout the remainder of the remaining narrative. That’s the type of impact that Jax has on this story; for the family living in the wilderness, Jax is the beginning of the unraveling of their understanding of the end of the world. In other words, if Jax is out there (and the people hunting him), then maybe there is something, some bit of the world, that survived what they believed was the apocalypse.

Every once in a while, Johnson takes you back to the way the world was before the epidemic took over. As you might imagine, the longer the book goes on, the more the reader learns about some of the most compelling plot points that span from the pre-epidemic world to the post-epidemic world. We learn about how the epidemic spread, how the government tried to take control, how there was research going on into a vaccination and possibly a cure – all of the things that you might imagine in this genre and dealing with this type of content. What makes this all compelling in this story, though, is how the characters are woven into the larger narrative.

And that is what is fun about reading Johnson’s The Wolves of Winter. The story shifts from despair to action/adventure and excitement to, ultimately, hopefulness. Johnson does all of this by weaving the characters that you know (remember, these are likely the last people alive) into a story that starts as small as a log cabin and expands to, potentially, the entire planet. If your are into new writers and you are into well-told stories about the apocalypse, then check out Tyrell Johnson’s The Wolves of Winter!