Big thanks go out to my buddy Brian for sending me the link to FMyLife.com. The “F” stands for fuck and, as you might surmise, the website focuses on people saying that their life sucks – in other words, “Fuck My Life!” The website is basically filled with user-generated content about shitty situations in a person’s life. For example, I came across this one a while ago (and I couldn’t stop laughing):
Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML
Ha ha ha!!! Who shits in a library book?!
The “FML” at the end of each quip is the person saying “Fuck My Life!” If you go to the site, you’ll see that there are two options for the readers to vote on the various FMLs – either you can tell the person that their life really is fucked (in other words, whatever they’re writing about really is a shitty situation) or you can tell them that they deserve what they had coming to them. For example, this person deserved what they had coming to them:
Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo’s name is Kanga, and why her son’s name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn’t until today. I’m 47. FML
See? Who couldn’t figure that out?
You also have the option of writing a comment on the post and it appears that some people really get into some back and forth spats in the comments. Anyway, here are some other quips from the site that I got a kick out of:
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my little cousin came to visit my family. I haven’t seen him in a while so I figured he missed me. Thinking so, I tried to hug him. While going in for the hug, he punched me in the balls and called me a faggot. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I’d “killed her nose”. FML
Go over and check out the site – I guarantee that you’ll enjoy it!
I love fmylife but recently I found a new one that is a little more twisted LOL http://apolo.gy I look at both!
Man, you found some choice ones for the post. I check the place out from time to time but don’t remember seeing anything quite that good. Nice work, sir.